The Ninja Chronicles
by Reedoh
Summary: A series of One-shots involving the numerous characters of Naruto. Some are crack fics...there is a chance that some wont be...maybe.
1. Shino Aburame

Ninja Chronicles  
(Crack Style)

A/N: One-shots & Drabbles of different Naruto characters. I'm just playing around with stuff. Probably OOC, but this is, well kinda, to help me get better at that. Crack fics are fun!  
I posted this before my beta was able to...beta it, but she will, I just wanted to post it to make up for the fact that I took my less crack-like fic down and will be keeping it down till I finish writing all of it whenever that it is. ] sorry.

Disclaimer: I don't not own Naruto or any of it's characters, but I guess I own Sonny...I'd kind of prefer not to, though. Lmao.

Summary - Well, everyone wondered why Shino always wore glasses...but they never wondered why the glasses let Shino wear them!

-Chapter One - Shino Aburame - Shino's Glasses-

When one looks at the young, mysterious, and somewhat creepy Shino Aburame, the first thing they might notice is the notorious pair of circular sunglasses he always seems wear. There hasn't been a single day in his, sixteen years of life, that he hasn't worn them, or at least thats what one of the many rumors says, and oh were there rumors!

There were ones like he showered wearing them, he slept wearing them, and he was even born wearing them. Now, while most of the rumors were kind of impossible, there were some that got people thinking that maybe just maybe, they could be true.

However, no one would've ever guessed the truth behind those glasses, would've never known the secret within them. Except, of course, Shino himself, and the rest of the Aburame clan. It was to be kept secret, though, for if it were ever to be told to the wrong person...well, it would be bad.

And it was pretty fun to have a secret, and as no one ever payed much attention to the Aburame clan, they felt no guilt in not telling them.

But the secret itself was actually....kind of embarrassing....for Shino, at least.

For the sunglasses secret was....they were magical. They had a mind of their own. After birth each person in the Aburame clan is given their own pair to wear till they die, and even after.

Usually, the glasses gender matched the gender of the wearer, but unlucky enough for Shino, he was the first male to get a female minded pair.

He dealt with it though, and did not let it hinder his ninja abilities or growth.

Now, some of you may be thinking, what does this have to do with the reason of him wearing the glasses all the time? Well, I'm not telling. For that's actually another story....and I do not have the time nor patience to tell it. Also, it's very boring and involves cotton candy.

Now, onwards to the magical story of the life of glasses.

See, Shino had to go through a lot as he grew up wearing a female mind on his head, it tortured him in ways. Because, well, the sun glasses had feelings....and emotions...and they had feelings and emotions for a certain silver haird ninja....and that made it really awkward for Shino.

For, whenever Shino was anywhere near Kakashi, the glasses would not stop blabbering about how attractive he was, Shino could almost feel them blushing.

He had a very hard time not yelling out loud at them, even though he could easily do so in his mind. It made him more than slightly irritated

So, right now, as he was stuck on a mission with the Jonin, the angry pink girl and the loud mouthed blond, he was very irritated.

"I still don't understand why we have to rest, we haven't even traveled that far, and we're pretty close to our destination anyway. So I say, why don't we just keep going and finish the mission early so I can go home and eat ram-....Kakashi are you even listening to me!?" Naruto complained, for the tenth million time, as he unpacked his sleeping bag.

Kakashi sighed, leaning back against an old oak tree, as he turned another page of the book he was notorious for reading, "Of course...not." he replied in a tired voice.

Naruto sighed and opened his mouth to complain, but was interrupted by a fist hitting his head, "Naruto! Stop complaining! You were the one who begged for a mission, anyway!" Sakura lectured. Naruto sighed but kept quiet as he cradled his new bump.

Shino sighed, he kind of preferred Naruto's annoying habits over his sunglasses, who liked to be called Sonny, at least Naruto could be kept quiet occasionally, not that Sonny never kept quiet...just as long as they were away from Kakashi.

"_Oh! Look how handsome he is! Just gorgeous! And sexy too! Look at the way he leans against that tree! See the concentration in his eyes as he reads that book! Oh, I wish you would go over and talk to him! Shino! Did you hear me? Go talk to him! Or at least go stand closer! I wanna be closer! I wish he'd look at me more often! But of course, you never draw attention to us! What does a girl have to do! I mean, come on!_" Sonny complained to Shino, who was on the verge of taking them off.

Of course, all it took was the taunting words that came from her every time he reached to do so, "_Oh, Shino...Cotton-Candy~!_" and he stopped dead in his tracks, shuddering at the images that danced so clearly in his memory.

Shino sighed once again before rubbing his temples, not noticing Kakashi walking over to stand next to him until he spoke, "Feeling alright there, Shino?" he asked, probably just trying to be friendly.

Shino mentally cursed the guy, although he felt somewhat bad about his growing dislike of being around the man. Sonny squealed.

"I'm fine, just tired." He informed the jonin, trying to be polite.

"_Ah! O.M.G! Shino! Look! He's right there! I said I wanted to be closer to him! and now he's closer! Oh! I wish I could see his smile! Oh Shino! Look him in the eyes...er, eye! I wanna see it clearly! He's so dreamy! and yummy! and I would totally let him wear me! Ask him if he wants you to lend me to him! Ask! ask!_" she ordered him.

Shino, for some odd reason, maybe the sun was hitting him too hard, complied.

"Hey, Kakshi...Would you, by any chance, like to wear my glasses?"

Naruto and Sakura froze, sending each other alarmed glances, before looking at Shino and Kakashi. Kakashi sweatdropped. "Um...sure?" he asked, confused, but not wanting to offend the boy.

Shino looked relieved, the cotton candy wouldn't matter as long as sonny was being worn and she complied to the wearer, right? Shino quickly shed himself of the glasses and handed them to Kakashi, closing his eyes and laying back without even a glance that the people around him.

He sighed, contentedly.

Kakashi raised his visible brow before shrugging and slipping his headband onto his forehead and putting the glasses on. Looking at Sakura and Naruto for their opinion.

Of course, unlike Shino, he couldn't hear the glasses thoughts.

Shino was dismayed to find he still could.

"_Fuck yes! Shino this is the shit! I never wanna leave his face! This is heaven! or at least the closest I'll ever be. Oh! Tell him he looks hot! I make him look even more sexy! He's so much fun to be on than you, Shino! Why can't you be more like him! I'm so proud right now! Far more proud than I ever was to be on you!_" she giggled loudly.

Naruto told Kakashi he looked ten times cooler and Sakura told him they really complimented his hair...(Don't ask).

If sunglasses could glare, they were glaring at Sakura.

"_Shino! I have competition! Lets end her! She doesn't deserve to live! Why is she looking at my man! He's mine! Keep your dirty claws off him pinky! I'll slap you silly, you skanky whore!_" she screeched at Sakura.

Shino cried out, exasperated, "God! If only cotton candy didn't exist!"

The other three ninja sweat-dropped.

"Uh, Shino...here are your glasses..." Kakashi said awkwardly.

Shino sat up and glared at the man.

"You put them back on right now!" he ordered before mentally telling Sonny to shut her trap, and laying back down.

"_He's not putting me back on! Does that mean he doesn't like me!? Wahhhh!_" Sonny cried.

Shino opened his eyes abruptly before glaring at the jonin who staring at him confused.

Shino glared at the glasses in his hand before glaring back up at Kakashi.

Kakashi put his hands up in surrender before going to put them back on, unsure as to why the usually quiet boy was acing this way.

Shino layed back down before angrily announcing he was sleeping. The three ninja had the feeling Shino had just lost his mind.

Sonny, however, didn't mind at all.

She even forgot to warn Shino that it didn't matter if she was being worn if it wasn't by an Aburame, she was far too happy to think of such unimportant thoughts.

Final words....Cotton Candy.

A/N: Crack? Yes. Funny? Not quite. Good? Definitely not.

Don't ask why Shino was on a mission with them, I just needed Kakashi to be there and felt Naruto and Sakura could be in it as well.

Also, yes I do know I can't write well.

Next Chapter's Main character - You decide?

~!Review!~


	2. Shikamaru Nara

klz Ninja Chronicles

Disclaimer: I'm poor...so, no.

A/N: A Shikamaru drabble and/or one-shot as requested by I-Like-Pineapples

Also, as I was writing this, I turned to the TV, and guess what was on there? Yep! A PINEAPPLE! (Oh, that wasn't your guess?) It's OOC, but all I could think of.

Summary: Some people will say or do anything to protect their laziness, even if it causes them to be somewhat active...with their imagination.

-Chapter Two - Shikamaru Nara - Hey, I'm protecting you!

"Through out most of my life people have claimed me to be a lazy bastard who sits on his ass all day watching clouds, but in truth, I'm so much more than that.

I'm a protector of sorts, a watchman, a guard, or whatever you wanna call it.

I keep my eyes on the sky, aware of all that is happening. Why? So I can alert the 'Authorities' of anything 'out of place'. Yes, that's my job. 'Watch and Alert.'

I think I deserve a gold star for the effort I put in, really, I'm the one working almost 24/7 around here anyway, and I still take the time to study.

And before you try to say 'Well, aren't you sleeping most of the time? How can you keep watch with your eyes closed?" think about it. That's like showing your cards in poker, idiotic!

Isn't better to let the 'Enemies' think we're completely unaware of them in every way? I do. And for the second part, even when my eyes are closed, I'm still completely aware of my surroundings. I know what's happening. .Time. I'm a genius, after-all.

Now, do you really wanna call the guy, who protects you from the out of this world danger 24/7, a bastard? I wouldn't if I were you. It's just really impolite.

So think about this next you see me out there by that tree, I'm probably the most heroic, non-lazy guy you'll ever meet.'' Shikamaru concluded his improvised graduation speech.

Most of the parents in the audience were staring open-mouthed, either irritated, confused, or entertained, but all of them were so silent it would make a writer want mention the chirping of grass-hoppers.

The principle wiped the sweat from his forehead, finally regretting his decision to force the lazy boy to put some effort in for his last moments at the school.

"Now...to get back to my post...stupid cotton candy." he muttered lazily, before yawning and walking off stage, quickly grabbing his diploma as he went.

The principle walked up to the microphone and cleared his throat nervously, "Well, uh could everyone please give a round of applause for, um, Shikamaru..er, Nara? The genius of our school..." he trailed off, more ashamed and embarrassed than he'd ever been in his entire career as principle.

As he listened to the awkwardly scattered claps from the unsure audience, he figured he'd learned pretty valuable lesson. Never force the lazy youth of today to do something they don't want. It always backfires on you.

Oh, and he also learned cotton candy can be pretty scary.

A/N: I apologize for the total crap this is, it's all I could come up with 'cause I'm horrible blocked in the writing area. This is short. I know.


	3. Sasuke Uchiha

Ninja Chronicles

Disclaimer: Oh, fuck.

A/N: Wow, Reeta...really? You had inspiration for a Sasuke drabble?

Summary: Sasuke was always a bit vengeful, I guess.

-Chapter Three - Sasuke Uchiha - Stepping on Cracks -

"Mn neh, blah beh. Brar teh sff buh." a young baby-faced Sasuke grumbled angrily, stomping around in his back-yard, kicking any and every object he could.

You could say he was a bit...irritated, at his mother.

She was, after-all, withholding delicious cookies from him!

Why? Was there some great big important reason he couldn't just eat a cookie? He wanted one really bad! So bad, in fact, that he'd attempted to...borrow...one from the cookie jar, all on his own!

It was snack time, anyway! So why not, he'd thought as he made his way to kitchen and set out to getting one from the cookie jar! It'd be so easy!

But then his mom walked in and** everything** went wrong.

She'd yanked him down from the counter he'd been standing on, reaching for the jar that sat atop the shelves above the stove, and spanked him!

Like, really spanked him! Hard! What kind of loving mother would do that!

It was blasphemous! How could she? He just wanted a cookie! That was all! He didn't even bother her! He was trying to be nice! And this was how he was repaid?

And after the painfully torturous spank to his behind, she even scolded him! Told him that he was being naughty! Then she sent him outside! With no snack at all!

She was evil! She was **starving** him! What a cruel mother!

Well, whatever! He didn't care! He hated her! And cookies! They were the start of all this anyway! He swore then and there, he'd never eat a cookie again! Ever!

As he continued to pout and kick around in the grass and dirt of his backyard, he accidently kicked a small rock towards the the sliding glass doors of his house.

He cringed and held his breath, waiting for the sound of it hitting the glass. That's all he needed right now! To break something and most likely get another spanking!

When the sound never happened, he sighed in relief and went to find where the rock had landed. He paused when he found it by a small crack in the pavement of his families patio.

As he stared at it, a small, evil grin curled at his lips.

Because as he stared at the crack an old saying came to mind...and he really like the sound of it at the moment.

'_Step on a crack, break your mother's back._'

Grinning insanely, ear to ear, he lifted himself off the ground into a high jump, and then slammed down on the pavement as hard as he could, giggling evilly all the while.

"Sasuke! Come on in! I have a surprise for you!" his mother called from the kitchen. Sasuke glared in her direction, then smiled down at the crack again for a moment.

With an angry sigh, he started to stomp off towards the kitchen as loudly as as he could, his lips in full pout.

As he slid the glass door open roughly, he scowled, "What?" he asked in a childishly angry tone.

His mother only smiled at him lovingly, waving for him to come into the kitchen.  
Sasuke rolled his eyes, irritated, before slowly making his way to her.

As he entered, his mouth immediately began water, as he smelled wonderfully delicious and sweet aromas from all around. Was that...cookies?

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, Sasuke, I shouldn't have reacted like that. I was only worried you could have fallen from the counter and broke something! You're so precious to me, I was overwhelmed by just thinking about it happening!" she explained, kneeling to his level, and squeezing him in a loving hug.

"So I made you some yummy oatmeal cookies! Here!" she exclaimed, standing up, and reaching for a plate from behind her, displaying it in front of Sasuke.

He almost immediately forgot about being upset with his mom, but as he took a bite of the deliciously perfect cookie, he remembered the crack and was overwhelmed with sad regret!Oh no! What if his mommy really broke her back? What would he do! In a crazed worry he jumped up and wrapped his tiny arms around her body and squeezed as tightly as he could.

"I'M SO SORRY, MOMMY! PLEASE DON'T BREAK YOUR BACK!" He begged, as he swallowed the last of his cookie.

Mikoto stared down at her sons head with a confused look upon her face and a raised brow, but when he let go of her with one arm and reached for another cookie, she shook her head and brushed it off with a small smile.

Little did either of them know was that a few years later...Mikoto **would** break her back. Because cotton candy saw him jump on that crack, and cotton candy **never **forgets. Ever.

AN: Yeah, got a new laptop...I had started this on my old laptop, although it only had one sentence written. It's super crappy and short, but I felt the need to update...even if no one reads my crap crack fics.

Anyway, my birthday just passed and now I'm super old (170) and wish I was a little kid again. *SIGHS*

I hate Sasuke...*shakes head*


	4. Shikamaru Nara Sasuke Uchiha

Ninja Chronicles

Disclaimer: *Coughs*

Summary : I need a few things from the Grocery, do things alone now mostly...(LOL, I has no summary.)

-Chapter Four - Shikamaru Nara + Sasuke Uchiha - Groceries-

It was like any other evening at konaha market, people were shopping for groceries, other necessities and maybe a few luxury items.

Everyone now and then someone would bump into someone familiar and they would exchange 'hello's' before moving on their way.

However, things did become quiet awkward at 7:40 pm when two young men bumped into each other on their way to the check out.

One of the men had an awkward chickenbutt-style hair cut, the other had one that held a certain resemblance to the leaves of a pineapple.

Both men were holding in their arms, the items just previously stated, and a small armful of hair supplies.

When their eyes met, there was this somewhat embarrassed, silent agreement, and with a stiff nod from each of them they made their way towards check-out and never spoke about that night to anyone.

(Author Note: Lol, I wrote this short as fuck thing before I stopped writing. I stopped writing because I can't write. I want to write. I shall return to crappy attempts at crack.)


End file.
